Dating online advices: Choosing the right dating site takes time and research – you want to find something that caters to your needs and desires. Salama suggests, ‘I really recommend, especially for seniors, not to use free websites. First of all, scammers tend to target older users who are perhaps not as internet-savvy; therefore it’s best to avoid this. Also, when you look for a website, don’t be lazy and ensure you thoroughly check the terms and privacy: does the website guarantee complete privacy of your messages and photos? If so, you’ll have the reassurance that people on the dating website are really there to meet someone, just like you.’
Three-quarters of the profile should be about me, and the other quarter about what I want in a mate, says Hoffman, who tells me to be specific here, too: The goal isn’t to attract everyone, it’s to find The One. We come up with “My ideal match is someone who loves family, has an opinion on current events, and can hold his own at a cocktail party on a Friday night, then chill with me on a lazy Saturday.” The final touch is a headline that sums up my approach to life, like a personal slogan. Hoffman suggests “Family. Kindness. Friends. Faith. That’s what I value most.” Hmm. I’m spiritual and go to church, but “faith” sounds heavy. I swap it for “fun.”
You learn so much more from a person’s manner and demeanor — whether he makes eye contact, her tone when she speaks, how often she smiles. You also recognize social niceties; that is, what sort of effort he makes to ask you questions, whether she is constantly checking her phone, etc. So much vital information is only disclosed in person. The goal shouldn’t be to find your perfect match but merely to winnow down the possibilities to a reasonable number, and then to meet those people IRL. It can be hard, when you so badly want to find “the one,” but getting to know another person, truly, takes time and patience. What are some other tips you have for evaluating online profiles for compatibility? Let us know in the comments.
Be proactive. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their bio and write a quick intro message. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. They’ll find someone else to date. Time moves fast in online dating. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. Don’t bother. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply. See additional details on online dating here.
“When choosing a profile photo, look for a picture in which you have a genuine — not forced — smile and a slight tilt of the head. Research has found that both of these features are related to positive first impressions. Also, if you’re planning to include a group photo on your profile, go for pictures where you’re in the middle and everyone looks like they’re having a good time. After all, you want to give the impression that you’re someone people like to be around.” —Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of the “Sex and Psychology” blog.
